Work on Listening
As a Provost many people will come to you when they have a problem or need advice. You may believe that it is your responsibility to give your opinion and advice on every issue that arises. This is a very unwise practice and will often result in those who report to you to avoid discussing some issues in your presence. It is best to offer your opinion when it is asked for and on topics that you have expertise and/or experience. If you give your opinion and advice on every issue that comes up, others will stop listening to you even when an issue arises where your advice and opinion would be helpful. It is difficult to distinguish what to pay attention to when someone is always talking and providing their opinion and advice even when their opinion and advice are sound and likely to be helpful. If you are talking a great deal, you will not be listening. Not listening sends a message that you don't value what someone else thinks, you only value what you think.
Listening is a hard skill to acquire. Having done a lot of marriage counseling, I can attest to the fact that a major hallmark of a dysfunctional relationship is the failure of one or both parties to listen to each other. They may talk a great deal, but they rarely listen to what the other person says. When It appeared to me that the couples were not listening to each other, I would stop the conversation and ask the nonspeaking spouse to tell me what her or his spouse just said. It was amazing how often they had no idea. They were too busy focusing on what they were about to say and did not listen to what their spouse was saying.
